Compressed sorrows

For a while now my pen hasn't touched a clean sheet of paper
my mind not where it used to be,
my thoughts have become more chaotic, not knowing where my next step will be
not knowing where i will end up
It haunts ME!
Silently dealing with this alone!
not being able to bring myself to tell anyone, they are no help "this is your decision"
but how could i make such decision with such little knowledge?
forced to face the reality of the world on my own, How could i not choose something that is not guaranteed the stability of my siblings?, how could i not choose them?
why would i just turn my back on them?
how could i not think about what i want for their future?
I'M choosing them!, I CHOSE THEM!