Confessions of a Smart Girl

I don't know if I'm smart
No don't tell me I am
I know what you think
Because it's what I want you to think
But it doesn't keep me from wondering
What if I'm not as smart as they think I am?
What if, one day
The facade is going to fall away
Revealing the phony behind my mask
My mask of ease, achievement and perfection
Perfection, my unachievable goal
It always leaves me wanting more
I've spent my whole life reaching for it
But instead I fall short
Never good enough by my standards
Yet at the same time too good by others
Too good to falter, to mess up, to make a mistake, to be human
I must do what is expected of me, for their is no room for error
But I can't, but I must, but I can't
Help me, I can do it on my own, help me
Don't tell me I'm smart
Because my demons are screaming
Reminding me what I truly am
Stupid and worthless

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