Constant Thoughts

Tides turning on a new dawn
As some doors slam shut
Other roads are detoured to the unknown
Fear and doubt my constant companions

Giving up, giving in, getting used to
Feelings blur, emotions sharpen
Tears cascade down shame-red cheeks
Head hung low, eyes downcast

Finger on the trigger, twitching
Amused at my own cowardice
Free of the pains, aches, hurts
A final solution to end all doubt

Yet the barrel never rises
The coldness slowly thawed
By warm memories of past and yet made
Sun rises on a new dawn in my life

Scared, yes, eyeing signs pointing the ways
Indecision can cripple determination to change
Unknown avenues stall the charge forward
Careful of mistakes, lessons learned by tempting fate

I take a measure of pride
I stand alone at a new beginning
Focus cleared from fogs of doubt
By stepping forward, I'm learning to live.

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