Could Not Now I Can
I am a New York City girl.
I have grown accustomed to loud noises, crowded streets.
I learned how to explore Central Park and love Starbucks coffee.
Familiar with the bright lights in the city nights,
You would think I would be able to see anything that came my way.
But I could not see how my heart was being used in foul play.
Wrote a series of angry poems; my heart was ripped out of my chest.
But it was just being hidden in a locker I kept covered in cement.
Had a blade for a pen, when I could not write on paper.
Could not express my hate for a successful player.
I found comfort in a brush dipped in paint; I colored a canvas.
But it still could not heal the in-growing madness.
I found comfort in booze; I chugged it without a second guess.
Kept me sane for a while until I kept being chased by sadness.
I smoked my first cigarette;
Found peace in nicotine.
My head pounded with the most blurred vision I had ever seen.
It blinded me, then my vision cleared.
Thanks to a friend, I have awoken from nightmares I have been
Dreaming of for years.
He made me toss that cigarette.
It sunk at the bottom of the river,
He saved my lungs and he also saved my liver.
I learned the irony in heart break, one learns to love again.
Took almost an end and a series of could nots to comprehend.
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