Down the rabbit hole I go. My thoughts spinning my entire being out of control, or at least that’s how it feels in my mind. My thoughts race, my chest beats, every fiber of my being feels broken.
Am I the broken girl, due to your decisions to use me as your waste site.
Waste site reminds me of wasted. Just how I try to get every night to forget your touch, your skin, your voice telling me to be quiet and it’s our secret.
Our secret. Its always our secret. No one can know you say as your hands slide over my body. You know its wrong otherwise you wouldn’t heed your warnings.
My head spins. Half from the bottle I drank to forget what I knew would come. Half from my inner voices screaming for you to stop, begging and pleading with God that you will die soon, and this could end.
But it never does. It never ends because when you’re finally out of my life and I’m on my own my inner demons come out to play, reminding me of the damage done.
The damage you’d done. The damage you walked away from. The damage that can’t be undone.