dancing to pain
the music starts playing softly, i close my eyes.
i am hurt, deeply broken. millions of memories passing through me every second have hurt my insides. it's like drinking broken glass.
i feel my heart raising to a new beat as it flows with the melodies and i see my hands making new shapes.
the broken glass has become a part of my veins now. it is not a phase anymore. this sadness and pain are as much a part of me as my heart and soul. they have broken me and entered the crevices.
i stand on the feet with a heavy heart, yet i feel so light as i float on the floor with the music.
the crevices are glowing golden. the darkness has given birth to a light. it is not hope, it is acceptance. accepting the suffering. it is like feathers on the ground, broken and incomplete, yet beautiful.
the music reaches a crescendo and i am moving every muscle in my body. spiralling on the floor.
this suffering is mine, the thorns are making me a rose. i survive with this pain. it is my client, and i am it's favorite mistress as every night it duly returns to me. during the days, it leaves me, yet stays at the back of my head all the time, waiting for the night to break me down against the bed.
tears fill my eyes, yet my feet don't stop as the music slows down. it's the calmness before the storm.
i go around my daily activities like a half human. the pain has taken over me as i have succumbed to the dagger and surrendered my life. the dagger constantly scratches my heart, now i have learnt to ignore them.
the final performance. i continue with a phenomenal strength of the stars combined. a dance like never before.
the pain infuses in my bloodstream alongside a thousand words that hurt me someday. it is too heavy for my heart to process. it bursts open and i drive into ecstatic fits that distribute the pain across my body.
the music stops, i collapse on the ground.
the pain is now completely a part of me. it'll hurt, but the suffering will be like breathing.