Darkness of a Broken Mind

My thoughts are no longer my own. Betrayed by the lines of the parchment I told
Confidence now a thing of the past. My feelings misread by those that held the paper.
Silence now my only friend. How could I have been so blind to think you would
understand this swirling maelstrom within me. Raging waters of anger capture my mind
An eye of emptiness its center.

Am I to be the fool for believing in trust? Your mouth spoke words of honey, your eyes offering
a false sense of serenity. Too late I see my folly. The pain is absolute. The burn of your betrayal
is to be felt for all times. It is to late to change what was. All I can do now is learn to live within
the darkness. Hiding within the walls of shadow, I find myself no longer concerned for the sun's

This cave of darkness has become my home. In the company of silence I feel cold, dead, and empty
inside.Somehow that comforts me. Maybe I was meant to live this life alone. Away from the thoughts
and cares of the world. Here the cares of others can no longer find their way into my heart. My mind
is free of the confusion. I can see clearer than I ever have.

Many days have passed since I escaped from the world. The cold of night starts to become unbearable.
I begin to miss the warming rays of the sun. Loneliness at first was a safe haven from betrayal, but
it seems now even it has betrayed me. My mind has started to play tricks on me. My eyes see things
in the shadows I know could never possibly be there. Or could they?
My sanity starts to slip away more and more by the day.

Where did i falter? Where did I veer off course? Fear now replaces tranquility. I do not know how much longer I can fight this. Body and mind now start to break. Strength seems fleeting. How i long
to dance under the moon. Alas, it is too late. My spirit is finally broken. No way out from this cave
of darkness I have buried myself within. The walls become heavy, each breath harder to take than the
last. My eyes have finally closed. Looking down I see my body lying upon a bed of lies and deceit.
A bed I myself made. Time has stopped and for me it is to late.

Now I see that the only betrayal I suffered was from my own mind. Making me see and feel things that
were never really there. How could I have been so blind? How could I not have seen through the facade?
The mask so convincing. For me it is too late. Why did I not see? This, this has become the end of me.

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This Poems Story

This poem was written during a time of great depression in my life. A time that I felt no one could love someone like me. Even when they spoke the words to me I had convinced myself they were only saying it to be nice. I thought I was unworthy of love. And it almost destroyed me.