Day dreams


i know im not always the best. It may seem like im always just a mess . i dont want to be ur disapointment or ur shame .I try to build me a life some times it seems like my happyness is just not there. Or maybe my dreams are just to rare or too far. I cant seem to reach to grasp the life i want.before it slips then again i fail and find my self giving up lost in a daze. Staring off in to space . wondering if my lifes just a waste . i know my God dont make no mistakes . i still seem to question my life like multiple times a day . why do i stay so lost? whats missing ?i wonder what lifes like for every one else and if their trials are half as hard as mine and if they have to fight a spiritual war fare such as i . or if the uniqueness of ones fight is as the shapes of the clouds nun the same but all beautful in their own special way . does any one else care or have thease thoughts . sometimes i feel so alone like im the only one lost . as life just goes by . im stuck in my head trying to find a way to brake through this mental hold my past has on me .. I try to let go but it seems to hold on . just lingering on . i seem to for get its not what im going through its what ive . already been through. The biggest part of the fight ive already won .just a chapter in my life maybe i should write it in a book and let the world read a story of one of Gods true soldures and use it to help some one else that may have been in my shoes or have felt what ive felt . thats what i want more then anything else. then i know the rest will fall in place so please dont give up on me . just have faith . maybe hopefully before i die i will have acomplished someting i pray . maybe some day......

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