Deadly rose

It was a dead from the start relationship
Never alive or thriving
Inside I knew that I was slowly dying too
Maybe it was the drugs or maybe it was just you
Your ordering and criticizing
Your constant need for me to offer you something
I did it all because I loved you
And i thought you loved me too
You were a beautiful rose but your thorns were poisonous
Laced with venom and greed
And the constant need for weed
I tried so hard to look for the beauty I once saw but in doing so I started to decay like a tree in the winter time
I felt so cold so alone
Although I sat sweating in my car in the middle of july
While my brain started to fry
My eyes bleeding with tears about where we went wrong
Where I went wrong
I made mistakes that I wanted to fix
And i just couldn't handle anymore lies or tricks
I wasn't being me
I was running around doing things so I could avoid apathy
Because when I'm bored I think and thinking was dangerous to me
Feeling was the worst of all
Because I felt nothing
Just numbness
And that's when I knew I had to let you go

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This Poems Story

this texts depicts an illustrates an abusive friendship i had my junior year of high school. at a rough point in my life she picked me off the ground which is something i will always be grateful for but then reality set in and she made my life unbearable in so many ways. the text is about accepting my end of the responsibility and creating a good last page of her and my story. i know she'll never see this but in a way the text is closure for both of us.