Deceitful Dedication

As I look,
You can't be found.
I try to hear,
But there's no sound.

We'd walk the park on Saturdays,
For that was when we chose to stray.
We had that loving bond,
One that lasted long.

When we first met,
I knew I really cared.
Though we hadn't talked yet,
It was more than I could bare.

I saw you take her hand,
Kiss it softly, too.
Some things I can't stand,
And one is losing you.

I ponder on our memories,
Wish you still were here with me.
But no, you freaking chose to leave,
Which broke me down to tears.

I'd write you sappy letters,
Like, almost all the time,
But you found someone much better,
And now I'm just not fine.

She took you to her house.
One you wouldn't leave.
She made you her new spouse,
So, every day I grieve.

I knew I should have taken you
That night that I did fear.
I should have stayed and watched you,
And maybe you'd be here.

As I held the pillow
You bought for our anniversary,
I shouldn't have stooped so low,
Then maybe I could see.

Those texts that you were hiding?
They weren't from Miranda.
They were from your doctor,
Saying that you had a... problem with your heart.

It wasn't meant for love,
Or life for that small matter.
It was meant for Death himself,
Or maybe the Madhatter.

Maybe you were crazy.
Maybe you were hurt.
I should have seen you changing
And thought about it first.

Those nights that you came home late?
You weren't at the bar.
You were getting mental help
From some place that was far.

And when you'd push me away?
Now I see,
You were protecting,
You and me.

I loved you, my dear baby,
And should have thought, that maybe.
You'd soon face this fate,
And that loved me, babe.

I stand up and wipe my tears
As I read the document.
Losing you was my biggest fear,
No matter what it meant.

I'm not mad,
Just hella sad,
For it was you I loved.

And now you soar,
High up, up above.

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