Depression


Dear Depression, I know my name means nothing to you. My race is none existent. My age is your timeline. You don't come and go like the seasons you stay, but never with good reason, do you even know the pain you're causing me? How about the pain and confuse you cause my friends and family who have to deal with the mess you make of me? Do you know or care that you have my mind lost in a sea of painful tears? Okay a fight that's not worth fighting for
one after the other, but always just another closed door no one can save me now but myself. Dear depression please release me. I know that taking medication won't eradicate you entirely. i really don't know how you're in control of my life here is the evidence of that scars on my wrists or all over my arms, scars on my face. and it feels like there's no way out
instead i just always go about pretending that you don't have a hold of me until i can't pretend anymore. I'll try and I'll try to escape from your grip, but you pull me right back in by my fingertips. Can't you see I've had enough?
Can't you see I'm not really that tough?
Maybe the many voices you plant in my head are right or maybe your wrong regardless
maybe i should give up the fight and it's not that i wouldn't. it's just that maybe i shouldn't i know it's my fault my brain is broken. My heart is pounding as i write this, dear depression because if i give in to you entirely, what would my family and friends do.
they can't always be the reasons i push through. Please just leave already, I can't keep letting you make me feel so unsteady, trauma is all that surrounds me. And it's time to separate myself from you because every day it's the same feeling of being extremely blue. I cannot continue to wake up in such pain that i am embarrassed when everyone sees mine.
the other side is just a step away
but maybe it could wait another day please my birthday is coming up i would like to make it there least give me that.

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