I see all the smiling faces on the book of faces
The engagements
The weddings
Baby announcements and job promotions
And I wonder where is my happiness
When did happiness evade me ?
Am I the dictator of my own suffrage?
Does unhappiness seek me
or do I seek it because it is familiar to me ?
Or am I happy to be unhappy?
Joy is a figment of my imagination that never existed
because to have an imagination means to be happy
I revisit my old friend sorrow
I tell her my deep darkest secrets
She will never tell
I sip fear like my daily morning coffee
I need it . It gives me my jittery nervous edge
Pain is my identity
Tears are my first and last name
I scream when will it ever end
But it's not
I like dancing with misery

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