No gains in crying
For it’s not going to rewind that past That seems to last forcefully in my present dream.
Decisions sway left and right,
Instinct trying to fight the urge
To remain alone before I tumble back into the arms of another transparent devil…
Like the one that left me no choice
But to raise my offspring alone,
Who were damaged by his outlandish violence,
But my silence is now cracked open, Hoping my children are learning it’s okay to walk away
From identities that diminish soul stability and self-worth…
Protecting them as they watch me wait…
My fate absorbing the light that pierces my mental
Telling my troubled inner Venus being everything will be alright…
Flight is heightened as new days begin to unravel.
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I was in a domestically violent marriage. I'm one of few that escaped from such an experience and when I realized that myself and my children's overall safety and wellbeing were valuable, I plotted to leave... And was successful. To this day, I don't understand how I let myself become someone else... Accepting and doing things I told myself I would never do because of the morals my parents instilled in me. But somehow it happened. Heavy lesson learned.