disappointment


Feel your pulses throbbing through your wrists,
As you’re clenching your fists.
Heart beat pounding in your chest,
While all the rest,
Legs are crumbling,
Body is fumbling,
Voice is shaking in your breath,
Hands aren’t catching
The very latch in the wall.
There’s a hole.
Hands have nothing to grab.
Falling down is your aching soul.
This isn’t the life that you wanted.
Repeated failure like you’re haunted.
Ghosts not from the past,
But the future giving warning,
Of a life that makes you feel haunted.
With sick inner demons swarming,
Making it seem your life is just spoiling.
Feeling the reflux of your last meal
Steadily creeping up into your throat.
Mouth watering
As the vomit starts bubbling,
Dripping chunks down your new fur coat.
Head aiming inside the toilet
But the stale smell of piss tainted ceramic
Put you more in a panic
Chewed up pasta on the floor,
With partially digested Caesar romaine.
Finally up and looking in the mirror,
Teeth with that acid red tinted stain
Trying to give your self a fake smiling.
Just stop it girl,
You’re feeling rotten to the core.
College books.
Good looks.
One group of people makes it seem education isn’t important,
The other makes it seem looks don’t matter either more.
Personality isn’t bland,
It’s a fireworks display.
Blaring colors in the sky on fire,
But people treat you still like you’re mild.
Nails are prim and clean but a quarter grown out.
Pedicure is over due
But your eye brows are threaded.
Curls are gone from a flat iron,
Pulled back in a sleek pony.
This is phony,
You feel phony.
But you feel lonely.
So you’re headed out to another night of slow, steady disappointment.
Smudge the ointment
On the scab
From the self inflicting stab.
From the distraught self temperament
The night before.
You’re now prepared for failure once more.

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Key Words : vomit, heart beat, chest, soul, demons

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