Disconnect


Here I am again staring at my reflection in the mirror.
Wondering who that person with the brown eyes truly is.
Since once again I've broken myself down to nothing.
Trying to put the pieces back together in this puzzle.
Yet to no avail, I keep finding myself lost in thoughts.

Some days I paint a smile on my face and pretend to be okay.
Some days I reveal my heart on my sleeve with his name tattooed.
Some days I just want to sleep, never to wake up from my dream.
Some days I just don't feel like myself no matter how hard I try...

Day by day it's another struggle to find my identity.
Since every now and then I keep breaking my own heart.
Ripping apart my fantasies in this emotion known as 'love'.
Learned the hard way again that it's just not for me.
So I spend my opportunity for nothing except leisure.

Some days I let people into my world without hesitation.
Some days I disappear from the people I love to be at peace.
Some days I lose myself in games to fake another persona.
Some days I don't feel like myself no matter how hard I try...

Disconnect.
The one word that describes what I'm feeling.
Trying my best to keep my mind at peace.
Yet failing miserably with all of these emotions swirling inside.
Wanting to escape into the world, but failing to find the correct speech.
So I struggle to write, tapping my pen against the blank page.
Hoping for the letters to combine to make sentences while I listen to music.
But it keeps getting more difficult with each thought drifting off to space.

Some days I give up and let my insanity consume me.
Some days I pretend to care when in reality I don't.
Some days I feel completely normal while other days I yearn for a thrill.
Some days I don't feel like myself no matter how hard I try to smile.

Here I am again staring at myself in the mirror.
Wondering who the brown-eyed person is behind the reflection...

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This Poems Story

I wrote this during a time when I wasn't really feeling like myself because I was struggling with some feelings.