Disenchanted (When I Was Five)

When I was five, I held the stars in my hands and blew all of my wishes for a pony on dandelion's.
When I was five, my mother and father went on a cruise to see all the beautiful fish.
When I was five, they left me and my siblings in the care of my aunt and uncle, who had (at that time) two sons.
When I was five, the two sons spit on my dress and threw me in a patch of briars.
When I was five, the nicer of the two put his hand up my dress.
When I was five, the meaner of the two shoved his tongue down my throat.
When I was five....
When I was five.....
When I was....
When I was nine, I started having nightmares.
When I was thirteen, I started to self-harm.
When I was fifteen, I started to starve myself.
When I was sixteen, I told my mother what they did. She said "Why didn't you say anything to me". "Mother, I didn't know what it meant. I was terrified
when I was five".
I am seventeen, in four months I will be eighteen.
I am still scared.
I am still five.
After all these years.
I am still five.

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This Poems Story

This is my heart and memories of another time in my life.