Drowning


I wonder what drowning is like.
as the bottom of a pool at night feels much more like an
endless
ocean.
Someone will stand up,
towel off, and say it's too cold to swim
any
longer.
Climbing a ladder to a high place
looking over the edge of a bridge and saying,
"What would you do if I jumped?" but
I
don't
know
what causes you to choke on lumps in your throat at three a.m.,
or make galaxies on your
wrists because you've lost the ability to smile when you are alone.
"Why would you ask me that?"
people only really joke about dying when they're ready to die but
I'm not ready for
you to go yet.
Does that make me selfish?
I hope you find the ability
to cry again.
And I hope you find someone
that makes you quit questioning everything.
Especially things that make no sense.
because I don't know
if I can
anymore.

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