Eighteen (18)

They said "it all changes once you're an adult."
Well, here I am, 18!
The only difference is I'm not in school anymore.
I'm still immature.
I'm still jobless.
I still have depression and anxiety.
Most would say that I'm a loser,
and I'd have to agree with them to appease them.
Even though, I am driven!
Driven by anxiety to NOT go outside and deal
with things that make me anxious.
I am driven by depression!
It makes me want to do ABSOLUTELY nothing and then
feel like shit about it in the near future!
Alas! I am 18, an adult!
A jobless, pot smoking, loser.... Waste of space adult.
I'm nothing like how teachers, friends, their parents,
family, my parents...
Expected me to be.
I am lost, I am suicidal, I am still me.
I am eighteen.

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