Elusive Desire


I arrive at a destination that has taken me seventeen hours to reach.
Conditions are perfect; the room is dark, cool and silent.
Almost immediately, upon curling up in my favorite position,
I drift off into a world of tranquility.
That tranquility is quickly disrupted by mental movies
that begin just as I enter the realm of peaceful sleep.
Memories mingle with absurdities,
images of things real and unreal and
events both possible and impossible
play endlessly in my subconscious state,
causing me to question my own sanity.
All of this mental commotion awakens me.
I lie in the darkness, longing for that elusive state of sleep.
Eventually, I drift back into the land of slumber
only to quickly be jolted from my peaceful sleep
by the obnoxious beeping that indicates the beginning of a new day.
I falsely promise myself that sometime before the day's end,
I'll find one hour, or maybe half of that,
to return to that place of peacefulness I so desire.
Of course, that never happens.
Seventeen hours later I arrive at the same location I started from,
hoping that tonight's journey will provide a renewal of energy,
mental rest and emotionally soothing dreams.
It's that elusive desire that continually brings me back
to this familiar destination.

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