empty darkness

Empty inside
Hollow and wanting, waiting
Waiting to feel something wanting to feel anything
I do feel
Feeling only pain and anger
Loss and sadness in the dark, lost and alone
The light opens and I seek it to feel and know again
To know what it’s like to be a human
To know what its like not to be a monster
Fear consumes everything Scared to sleep
Afraid that all I can do is cause pain.
Nothing feels real, why can’t I wake up
Wanting only to feel
To feel what it’s like to be human to not feel like
What I have become a monster, serving only one
Serving the monster in all of us serving the darkness,
All consuming the end, Un-wanting unknowing
What it is to feel, to feel like a human
Only knowing death and pain
Only knowing what its like, to be a monster
The one you fear the one that I am
I am not a human I was created in war
Forged from death, Made from fear
Shown the beauty and destruction of war
Reliving it every day
Friends dying, Enemies dead
Pain from all around
Forging the monster within, forging what I am
Forming the empty darkness that is in all of us

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