Here are people discussing, trying to figure.
That what made me put up the gun,
At my head and pull the trigger.
So, I'm here to answer your questions,
About my death, on my funeral.
When I picked it up for me,
It's weight was so light.
Due to all thoes heavy burdens,
I have felt for days.
It didn't even seemed solid in my hands.
But as a high water wave to drift me away.
As i ran my fingers on its neckline or spine,
It was like touching my own dead body.
And it felt so nice that I thought about it twice.
Holding it I knew it's to make me free.
Free, more than I ever wanted to be.
No! when I pulled that trigger and heard that Bang.
It didn't came as a shock to me.
Cause I have heard it,
So many times over in my head.
That it was like a part of me.
Imagining it didn't seem a flaw or tragedy
It was like a blissful thought,
Of taking my own Breath Away
And finally being able to be out of me.
Some of you are blaming yourself when,
The other thinks the one who is responsible is me.
It wasn't your fault. my friend, believe me.
I spend hours looking at mirror;
And didn't found anything wrong in that man, Except that person wasn't me.
I was more darker than that reflection,
My body was getting heavier,
But that Mirror shadow was slim.
That guy was logy, tired of life with Tears in eyes.
While the one this side of mirror have a static eyes.
And a Crimson a scar on his face,
Which was not causing pain but leaking it out;
As death was entering inside making it space.
Yeah, you are right. I knew it wrong.
I knew my delight will be labelled as sin
I am not considering it false.
It is a crime to abandon all of you,
But holding a thing didn't make it yours.
I got that I deserve none of you.
You are my dreams, but I was nightmare off me.
Being scared of Satan, I hold inside,
I realised I am an abyss with steep sides
Hope one day you will get that;
I was an Autumn leaf not a tree.
That my presence would have burned the word
As it was roasting me.
I was unable to stand over the blaze of life,
And death was there with cold arms.
Ready to heal scars which life denied to see.
I have nothing for you two not a word.
I know with face of mine you have cremated your world.
But there were Torrent, hurricane and earthquake
Of guilt, shame and regret a lot for your little world;
Which wasn't strong enough.
To stand still in tornadoes,
Or to swallow lava erupted by volcanoes.
I am obliged of whatever you give me mum and dad.
None of this your mistake,
It's life which don't have a retake.
Please don't cling to my Cinder;
As I don't deserve this love.
And you always deserve better than me.
You are a blue stocking ma so get up,
And console your soul.
I was a part of you but don't let that part die,
With me. take it out make it yours.
And live a life is no one was ever borned,
To cause you this much pain.
The one who thought only about his gain.
Lots of my believes were turned upside down
And here one more rotated completely,
As a tear sliped from my dad's eyes.
My superman was a knees, crying.
But at least you guys are sick of my death,
Not ashamed of a son who is a alive.
I created a canyon and two birds,
On its bottom with broken wings.
I sold you all to pay cost of being free,
With cages I broke a house to flee.
It's for someone who isn't here in this crowd;
Scared of finding herself dead in me.
The love I have left behind it is still denying to believe.
That now there's no sense of waiting for me.
I apologize to you but that's true,
You was on a boat that was sinking.
But you can swim, I know.
Just, stop imagining my arms around you.
They aren't shelter but iron bars.
And you are the prisoner.
I'm sorry but you might be thinking, it was you.
I too have thought it will be.
But the last thing I saw with my closed eyes, Wasn't my beloved, but me;
I saw me being free, it's selfish.
I am selfish and not any more afraid to say this.
Hence, you shouldn't be afraid to see.