Even Ground

By IvyLea    IvyLea

My head is caught in a cloud,
oh but more than a dream.
A promise of a warmth to overtake me...
a dragon's breath of fantasy that makes my psychosis...
their reality.
Now I'm in control and feeling some sort of oddity.
I want to use the phrase happy,
but I am cautious...
it could cease any time.
Pupils so wide I could get trapped in their darkness.
But somehow also,
strange halos so bright they could be seen from purgatory.
And all these...
kindrid spirits.
Only on the wrong string.
So I watch my pillow...
escape...
and rest my head on runaway dreams.
When the mood darkens and the restless grow weary...
I seek sanctuary in solitude.
Where I need not the pillowy fantasies...
but feel strange and alone.
Familiar...
So when the masses recover and can rejoin my gay parade...
again we will float through the sour heavens....
as they gain sample...
charade...
my daily engage.

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This Poems Story

Having BPD I have experienced hallucinations and paranoia from childhood on. I found it strange that when the majority use Crystal Meth they would become paranoid, fearful, and experience frightful and vivid hallucinations especially when coupled with sleep deprivation. Alternatively, the drug muffled those same psychosis in me. I never understood intentionally putting yourself through the same help I am so desperate to escape.