Expectations


I feel like a failure.
Walking around like I have nothing to lose.
Messing up because I don’t have the motivation to improve.
Spending money like I’m balling like that.
Reality checks in and I’m falling fast.
I don’t have the energy for this. Barely can wake up yet I’m dreaming of fairytales.
Pretending I'm a princess but I’m a bastard on trial.
Can I prove my worth?
Maybe I can get a mule or a couple of acres.
Probably not because I can’t give my soul for paper.
Or maybe I can but I know it won’t feel right.
Giving my dignity to an enemy for my life to quickly get right.
I can finally say I’m growing into myself; I’m happy that I finally woke up.
But, how do I explain to a group of my loved ones that my consciousness got me stuck?
That I’m not going to be what they expected of me because I’m gone strive for something greater. Something that was meant for me but better yet something that was meant to be.
Something that they know I’m good at but it’ll never be enough for thee. It’s not glitz and glam but it’s powerful and grand.
I don’t want to be a slave with a PhD.
I want to be free with my mind, body, and soul in peace.

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