Explode


Having to explain myself over and over again.
Gets me to the point that I feel like I shouldn't exist anymore.
With one mood in one minute and another mood right after.
Confusion seeping it's way to my brain and knocking me down.
I don't understand this feeling of one mood to the next.
I am crazed and feel like I shouldn't be embraced.
My head spinning, my mind mixing, my body hurting
It goes off and on as if I were a puppet in this lying world.
Each time my whole self gets misplaced.
What I am going through , no one can fix, not even myself.
I Often wonder if I will ever be the same again.
So full of energy, excitement, love, and mercy.
This day and age I can't even grasp just a little of what I once was.
My mixed emotions have trapped me in my own prison.
I try to brake free But it holds me deeper and shackles me in chains.
Not allowing me to breath easy.
I don't know how much longer I can last like this.
Watching my family while they witness my roller coasters of emotions.
Not understanding why I am the way I am.
Scared vessels trying to help me and not knowing that they can't.
They may see me well but They don't see me on the inside.
My inner core has imploded to a form of a ticking bomb.
I feel like I have broken one chain , and another one comes along.
But occupying my mind with different scenarios just is not working.
At any moment I will explode.

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