Explosion/Ineffable Part 2

This thing they call a family,
it's a tight knit circle to not feel lonely.
And I've got not a friend to vent to ...
but I make it that way ...

So just please forgive me.
I'm done with being this empty.
I'm honestly sick of the fight.
And I'm wanting to say goodbye.

To care, I'd have to give a damn ...
but I spend enough time trying to face who I am.
I told the ones I love, I was leaving ...

"How could you do this to me?"
But you see ...
This isn't about you, it's about me ...
And the strength it takes to dream.

If given the OK, I'd be on my way.
God, just keep my little boy safe.
But where were you when I became crazed?
So I'll stand here just to save.

Does this make me defeated or brave?
I remain the prisoner, caged.
Still enslaved to the cell within my brain.
Someone help me find a way to break these chains.

"Duty calls", another day to face.
Shock therapy, just erase.
The memory, the evil sick pain.
These hands continue to shake.

A pill bottle label,
Just to stay stable.
Facing this alone,
I am unable.
And no matter the ways I go about ...
One more option's become crossed out.

Another check to the list,
I am so sick of this.
And yet again money I sink,
Searching for the perfect shrink.

But soon enough, in the crazy house I'll be.
Because what good is a tongue that won't speak?
And soon enough, "Dead. Dead. Indeed".
Because What good is a heart that has lost
All of it's beautiful fucking pieces?

Racing around like a rabbit ...
Forcing a new day to become habit ...
Tell me, did it really turn out to be that clever,
For them to all say I would get better?
Look at all the damage it has caused.
Never, the queen I was.

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