I can't help but wonder what it would be like to love him without fear,
That blue eyed boy that the calls me beautiful instead of hot
He loves me in a way so pure that even glass can't compare.
He twists and weaves his fingers between mine.
He pulls my head down to rest on his chest.
He runs a hand across my cheek.
I know his intention are only to make me happy,
To keep and hold me,
I know he's nothing like you.
Nonetheless, I can't help but flinch slightly as his hands wraps around my waist
I can't forget the way you whispered sweet words in my ears
All while digging your dagger deeper into my spine.
You showed me how easily love can turn to lust.
You showed me that abuse doesn't always look the part.
You moved my hands to lands they would never wander.
You urged me to keep going.
When I didn't, you questioned my commitment, my love, us.
I know he isn't you.
Trust me I tell myself that nightly.
He stares into my eyes not my cleavage,
He grabs my hand not my butt.
He plays with my hair not my feelings.
He makes me hum while I do the dishes.
I know I shouldn't be scared.
He deserves a love without fear,
But he settles for a heart burdened by misplaced trust,
A fractured soul,
And a mind that always assumes the worst.