There are so many ways I am blessed
Yet more and more I have only unrest
Fear of the worst creeps up on me
Fear of the new hurt, my pricey fee
As I emerge each new tortured day
It ensues a physical and emotional disarray
Yet I still have big dreams and hope
For it's with me even if I resist or mope
And although now I only see bleake
I feel Faith is only as high as my own peak
When and actually 'IF' this ever subsides
Paced slower and planned will be my only rides
Truly I am a child in the body of not
Somehow memories slipped, and... or I forgot
Waiting ever so patiently impatient I sit
With only loss and hate to fill voids like a pit
I know this will not last or be forever
I see a future wait no I don't ...ever

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Wanting all my hurt to be understood