fool's gold

why are you punishing me for not trying
for finally giving up the charade
when i was the only one playing the game anymore

you left me
and now, you lie to me
you try to make me feel bad for you, to pity your plight

when all you do is dig your own grave
you make horrible decisions
you surround yourself with people
who’d raze you instead of raise you

i used to put you on a pedestal
you were my golden standard
i fed into the narcissistic spring
that now ebbs and flows
with every breath you take

you ask us if you’re a good person
and i want to say no

he tells me to say yes

i lie through my teeth
i sink to my knees
shake my fists at the sky,
cry to an unforgiving god

and wonder why i went mining for gold
when silver shines best in darkness