For Hans

And when you said I love you it clung to me
Stuck to my body so completely that it became a skin

My friends tried to scrub it down a hole
But raw and rash I sat in the bath
And it held me as I gripped myself

And my naked body reminded me of yours
So I covered it to hide our scars

the scars you gave me hurt the most
Then the scars I gave myself to hurt you

But you would not leave me
And as body crinkled and caved
Your casings remained

And some hours I would lay them around me
And make mutterings about half-moments
Of memories that used to make me smile

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