For Maria

Dear Maria,
Do you remember when you broke your foot?
I brought you strawberry ice cream because it was your favorite.
I remember when we were 8, playing in my backyard and picking flowers. I made you a flower crown. You were so happy.
I saw you again in college in the little French coffee shop off of 11th and 3rd.
Do you remember me?
I said hi, but you brushed past me as if I wasn’t there.
I wish I didn’t turn back to get my purse just then.
I wished I ran after you and screamed how much I missed you because you were my sister.
But I didn’t.
I got the call on a Sunday morning.
They said you were in a car crash. Did you feel any pain when your body was crushed by the metal of the car? I hope you didn’t.
Half of my breakfast was still on the plate. The rest of it soon followed.
I went to your funeral in the middle of May. I wore a green cotton dress. Everyone gave me strange looks. But I didn’t care because your favorite color was green. You always said I looked horrid in black anyway.
Mama cried when I mentioned your name so I don’t say it anymore.
It’s been 5 years since that Sunday morning.
But you’d never know it because everything that used to remind me of you is gone.
Sometimes I wake up and wonder if you ever existed or if you were just a dream.
But every once in a while, I’ll stop by that old coffee shop on 11th and 3rd and I’ll sit down for a little bit.
You were my best friend and my soul sister.
I loved you so much.
I’ll live hard and I’ll live, love, and laugh enough for the both of us.
One day, I’ll see you on the other side.
Wait for me, will you?

Always and forever,

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This is for my best friend. The one who is near yet feels a thousand miles away. I’m here but you’re not. I miss you. Please don’t forget me.