For Maria

Dear Maria,
Do you remember when you broke your foot?
I brought you strawberry ice cream because it was your favorite.
I remember when we were 8, playing in my backyard and picking flowers. I made you a flower crown. You were so happy.
I saw you again in college in the little French coffee shop off of 11th and 3rd.
Do you remember me?
I said hi, but you brushed past me as if I wasn’t there.
I wish I didn’t turn back to get my purse just then.
I wished I ran after you and told how much I missed you because you were my sister.
But I didn’t.
I got the call on a Sunday morning.
They said you were in a car crash. Did you feel any pain when your body was crushed by the metal of the car? I hope you didn’t.
Half of my breakfast was still on my plate. The rest of it soon followed.
I went to your funeral in the middle of May. I wore a green silk dress. Everyone gave me strange looks. But I didn’t care because your favorite color was green. You always said I looked horrid in black anyway.
Mama cried when I mentioned your name so I don’t say it anymore.
It’s been 5 years since that Sunday morning.
But you’d never know it because everything that used to remind me of you is gone.
Sometimes I wake up and wonder if you ever existed or if you were just a dream.
But every once in a while, I’ll stop by that old coffee shop on 11th and 3rd and I’ll sit down for a little bit.
You were my best friend and my soul sister.
I loved you so much.
But don’t worry. I’ll live hard and I’ll love hard enough for the both of us.
I owe you at least that.
One day, I’ll see you on the other side.
Wait for me, will you?

Always and forever,

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This is for my best friend. The one who is near yet feels a thousand miles away. I’m here but you’re not. I miss you.