For the Chemicals

Please don't lose grasp of faith on you and me

I metaphorically bow to you with an urgent plea

I no longer sense the desire to flee

You are a unique, burning flame feeling the universe with glee

The thought of you not with me causes my soul agony

Letters could form words to express my apologies to you

It would never suffice to make up for the way my actions construe

Especially when my anger is invariably strewn all over you

Or out of my mouth, the hate that does spew

You never deserve it, that is unequivocally true

But all of these horrendous habits, I will subdue

When it pertains to you, nothing comes in lieu

I remember the past and our first meeting

The ever-present darkness in me instantaneously started depleting

As a supreme joy I began excreting

Until you, I began mistreating

I am sorry, for the chemicals, I learned how to be misleading

For your forgiveness I am pleading

In all of the awfulness, my love is authentically preceding

I know it is hard to distinguish, that is why all of me is ready for conceding

And constantly, the dreary I am feeding

A wound that won't heal, forever bleeding

But another part of me, if only for you, is not ready for ceding

I wish you could delve into my mind and it was possible to know exactly how another feels, solipsism erased

Validation of variations could not be debased

I am truly sorry for all the times my words were laced

For when my hurt is misplaced

I am determined for your love to not waste

For you, I need to heal myself with haste

No more smearing you, abuse being the paste

It has been a long time since myself I have faced

It calls to me, the desire to just waste away

With a numbed care of my soul and the decay

But you, you make one contemplate a delay

Throughout a stale soul, you are the spark than could splay

A flicker of hope where lacking, to survey

I know my paradoxical behavior can engorge you with dismay

But it can change. I need to remember I am all, the sculptor and the clay

Please hold onto whatever you can

Reminisce on when our connection first began

I can train my brain to be like that time-span

You are my clan

I yearn and I grovel, please keep me in your life's plan

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