Forgetting to Breathe


Forgetting to Breathe

I walk into the room and I feel the stare
I pray for the day to come when I don't care
Instead intense fear builds inside of me
A deathgrip stinging me like a killer bee
I look around frantic for a place to escape
No open spaces I feel caged in like an ape
Beads of sweat begin to invade my forehead
And before long the hives on my chest turn red
Surely everyone will notice this redness and sweat
As circles develop on my underarms I can only fret
Fear clutching me choking me I've no air
I don't know how much longer of this I can bare
My sweating only worsens with my awareness
Often times I pray I could be just completely careless
But this vice of mine weighs on me more than you know
My heart beats harder, I can not breathe I must go
I am on my deathbed now or so I feel
Becoming a corpse seems all too real
To look at me you could never guess
Wearing a smile outside, my inside a mess
I look confident and strong to everyone
You'd never imagine that I just want to run
Run quickly to a place safe for me to hide
Grabbing my dog and nestling her to my side
My skin is thick and I appear so tough
Nobody ever knowing that I've had enough
Behind these blue eyes lay the deepest of blue
Dealing with it everyday because it's all I can do
I'm suffocating with no hands choking me
All air has left me feeling lightheaded and woozy
Drowning with not a single drop of water to fill my lungs
Strong exterior, weak interior, mind speaking in tongues
Bleeding out with no open wound in sight
Grasping for any sign of oxygen with all my might
Plummeting to my death with a mere foot drop off
Holding tears back that will break like a dam if I cough
I am losing in the game of life with no other players but myself
Like California one quake away from breaking its continental shelf
Instead of being like the St. Andres Fault weak and holding on by a thread
Wishing I were more like Hawaii, a volcano having risen up from the bottom and looking straight ahead

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