Forgive Me

I apologized to you,
and I told you it was because I was sorry
that you had been worried about him all day.
But that isn't why I felt badly.

I apologized because he wasn't there for you today,
but he's never there for you.
I apologized because I wish I could be there,
or I wish you could be here,
or I wish we could be together somewhere
so I could take care of you.
Smother you with love and affection,
give you all of my undivided attention.
I apologized because I have not always done right by you,
but I hope you know that I try my very best.
I desperately try to be someone you look up to,
someone you admire and someone you love.
I apologized because I am not with you
and we both know I should be.
That one wasn't my fault,
but it was my choice. Although I do not regret it,
I wish you knew my reasons behind it.
I apologized because as much as I want to tell you everything,
there are some things that I know are better left unsaid.
Some things I know would hurt you terribly.
What you don't know will not hurt you,
and I apologize because you do not understand,
that everything I do is for your protection
including, but not limited to, your exclusion from the entire truth.

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