Ghosts That Couldn\’t Sleep
He walked out when the whole thing’s on fire
and never told me where he has been.
He just came back now when the smoke’s fading
only to bath me with gasoline.
I never thought of the past anymore
‘cause I’ve accepted the things that happened,
but when I saw his name on my inbox,
the closing wounds have suddenly opened
for the moment he messaged me about
how I was—my heart slipped in danger
‘cause the memories waved randomly like
familiar strangers on my Messenger.
The memories I buried long ago
reached out to me like ghosts that couldn’t sleep
and I was trying to find the old cemetery
to try them bury again underneath.
Rain started pouring from the gray sky
that he gave me as he left that scary night;
and the reality right there killed me
‘cause I only learned to live half alive.
And we both met in that same avenue—
the place we both decided to end it.
Thought anger would be what I’d feel, but
I was wrong when everything was splendid.
So, I told him that I badly missed him
because it seemed nicer to love than hate.
And I felt like it’s not wrong to tell him that
as long as everything is not yet late.
His eyes looked like he wanted to come home
to erase the bad things I remembered—
the days I cried so hard when he left me
and drunk my own tears in dark corners.
BUT I said…
“I don’t want to end this relationship
and wanna go back, but I don’t know how
‘cause my love for you is clear blue water
that is polluted: I can’t trust now.
All I could offer to us is friendship
‘cause we’d never grow up if we’d stay.
I think it’s nicer not to be lovers
because we are better off this way.”