Golfer’s Lament


Missed it once missed it twice
holy jumping Jesus Christ.
Whiff, chunk, chilly dip,
watch me let this one rip.
Down the middle just to the right
over the bunker it'll be out of sight.
Four!
Goddamn hook, what went wrong-
hips, feet, head, grip too strong?
I don't know but it's out of bounds,
it's the sixteenth time in the last four rounds.
Next time out I'll get it done maybe even a hole in one.
Four!
Goddamn slice, what went wrong-
hips, feet, head, grip too strong?
I don't know but it's in the lake,
I put it in there with any club I take.
Next time out I won't hit so far, maybe then I'll make a par.
Four!
Goddamn skull, what went wrong-
hips, feet, head, grip too strong?
I don't know but it's in the trees.
Oh God, help me, help me please.
I'll do anything, I'll put out my stogie,
if you'll help me make this, goddamn bogie!
Yes!

Poem Rating:
Click To Rate This Poem!

Continue Rating Poems


Share This Poem