At night I lie awake, I sit and ponder my mistakes
God I'm so tired but my desire to be the best
Won't let me sleep.
I wonder why I am still alive
Cause right now there's nothing keeping me in line
I know that you care so I'll say I'm fine
But honestly I want you to hold me.
I want to scream but no one will hear
I have nothing that I hold dear
I cannot dream because I fear I'll reach to far
And I'll hurt myself trying.
You won't see me cry because I hide
But honestly I am dying inside
I know I must live
So I will give
Everything that I can
To make you forgive
I can't trust myself with my own health
And God I'm terrified.