Half empty

Half Empty
I was disappointed once more and angry to call you my father,
I wonder if what I yelled hurt you more than it hurt me,
I am a Christian and I am human,
I am unperfect with an untamed tongue and I am still angry,
But somewhat forgiving, although I question my awful sayings
I also question myself, have I changed? And am I still lost?
Years and years of constant routine, constant pain
I am getting older; I do not deserve such hurt, not anymore
I am worthy of much more, I am worthy of love
I will not stay any longer and watch you slowly destroy yourself,
I want to believe change will come; I want you to love yourself,
If I leave for a few years and return will you have redeemed yourself?
Have I given up on God’s love?
Has God left me? or have I left Him once more?
My faith shakes and is constantly tested,
My earthly Father has let me down numerous of times,
But my heavenly Father emerges numerous of times,
Out of all the misery and death, the constant departure,
All this I have discovered on my path to God,
God has never left me and I am still walking, slowly
I am the glass that is hall empty,
Soon to be full.

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