He of little faith

He felt hollow. Like empty shells that fell from his gun. He held his faith in his back pocket and his pride in his hands. He decided that since God only came when we are at our most lowest then he would just have to meet him at his throne. He became wind in a storm that brewed with in his anger and doubt. He jumped with mockery that God would let him fall to his death. He didn't wait for God to check his answering machine before deciding to dial another's phone. He hid behind his arrogance and his shadow slowly became his skin. If his bones could talk they would scream in agony and beg for forgiveness. He filled his stomach with poisoned words and tainted holy water. He inhaled corrupted prophets and praised them in the eyes of the King. He threw his sanity at the bottom of heavens stairs and his spine at God's feet. He spoke in harsh whispers and bled in a ocean of red. He felt lost like a child with no mother and wanted answers to his questions. He saw ugliness in his past and destruction in his actions. He saw sinner written in the palms of his hands and unworthy in his sight. He felt like God left him to drown in waters he was not made to swim in. He crumbled in pain and shame ate away what was left of his strength. He closed his eyes and opened his mouth to pray. "Dear God, My soul feels abandoned and my Faith fits in the small of my pocket. I lost you in a world of doubt and confusion. I let my anger and my uncertainty burn a bridge that you died to build. You said you would never leave me nor forsake me and one day will come back for me. I pray that I still have time to fix my mistakes and ask for forgiveness. I tried to replace you oh heavenly father when your love was all I ever needed. You took nails for my sins and death for my pains. You hung on a cross so that my soul shall live on forever. I ask that you help me reach you again and help me stay forever in your favor. Amen."

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