Heartbreak:17th Hour of Joke

Have you ever thought that it would've been better if you had never been to the time we met?
I've been wanting to ask you that but I don't have any chance to. Was the world too cruel for being so selfish? It could even afford to stopped me from asking you for another one more time.
Or maybe they're right that it's no longer good for us to be in this way again. It was just me who's being stubborn wanting to talk to that person all over the time.
And wanting that person to stay although he had already left. When there are days that I badly want to call you it made me mourn for something that is not present anymore.
Even though the man I love from a far has someone whom he can say that woman is the reason of his existence, made me think, I wish I was her at least once. Yet, he is always making me confused, if he did love me before then what have stopped him to fight for me? Or maybe it's because there were so much reasons to give up and there was no any reason to fight against the hands of time. I told you that I'd wait until you come but then again you told me not to wait too much. Maybe, you never wish to choose me when we will cross path again. Maybe, you never hope for another chance in any forthcoming. And maybe, there's no way to save us in any lifetime, you chooses to. When you utter 'I don't want to hurt anyone', so what am I? Am I not hurting now? Simply means, you don't want to hurt her. And it simply means, I have to comfort myself again to any 'what ifs' and 'what could have beens'. Perhaps, I would end up arriving in the same station where I have been before. No matter how difficult it is, the fire that you had set up goes the same until now. A long rain won't able to set it off until we can crack another joke, as if, breaking each other's heart was the best joke ever said.

As if // we were joking to be a part
17: 23 | 05 - 03

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