Here I Am Again
Here I am again, bobbing, clinging to pieces of you
and carving your name into my skin with tears.
I rage and fight and SCREAM, every cell
blazing in agony.
You are my blood
Without you I am veins,
capillaries, tissue, matter, cells, breath –
Life uncrafted, unfinished.
A shipwreck dashed on rocks of disgrace and covenants and kisses.
Your hands produce the music of my being,
AND YET you drag me under:
waves and foam splashing down my throat as I call your name AgainAgainAgainAGAIN with no Breath.
My tears stain a sky full of stars for us to
lay and LIE under
and I'm drowning as your lips form apologies in the shape of her name.
It's crests and troughs and bleeding fear,
cutting my feet on the shards of you.
You're a wounded bird with wings,
beating scraping bleeding against iron and planks
and the spray is thick and red.
The sun is a rusted coin in the sky and the fire of it burns my tongue.
I reach for you:
fears and feathers falling just beyond the tips of my fingers
Scraping talons raw - splinters, slivers - feebly clutching at Us.
A beguiling deception.
A climb beset with tragedy
A plummet so expected as not to be real.
Fashioned to sink
To suffocate beneath the weight of the waves and the world.