Him


I think it was the way he held his pencil
Or the way he would tilt his head to the ceiling
As if I would counter his eye level just to get even an ounce of his sparkle and just maybe take some for myself
An eye for an eye may only make the world blind
but his voice could walk me through a thin bridge with nothing but destructive water crashing into the edged rocks, and I would be okay
But it was his voice.
Firm yet softly noted.
I want to furnish him with love so sweet it angers him and makes him forget what heartbreak ever felt like.
I want to give you all of me.

What magnificently kept me attentively breathing for years has chosen my fate.
I didn't choose you.
It was not my decision.
You were once just a seed in my heart.
I buried you within the basement of my soul to prevent you from growing and surfacing.
Yet you flourished within and declawed through all 4 of the chambers in my heart.
You nurtured into a garden that was once a seed

But I didn't choose you
I am the empress of redeeming myself.
I refuse to have you bunched up in the crevices of my 2 a.m. thoughts
I thank you.
For allowing me to unsuspectedly adore you at a safe distance.
May your eyes capture the attention of another
There was once a garden that was shaped in the format of your name.
I thank you.

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