Tears that fall heavy like the pouring rain. Like a tornado twist inside of my brain. Racing thoughts that come and then go. Like the storm winds that calm.
I miss my mom the way that she use to be. I miss my son being here with me. My daughter is far away. She is a Jehovah's witness, she does not celebrate holidays. My father is in a world of his own. A younger brother and sister who do not speak to each other.
I look around the world and I see people just like me feeling the same way. Not looking forward to the holidays. People are dying, people are crying and killing each other.
I miss my wife even though she is here. There will be no hugs or kisses or holiday cheer. She wants a separation, she calls a vacation.
Like branches breaking on the trees, my heart breaks too. I will be happy to see when the holidays are through.
I know this will pass. Hurricanes never last. The sun comes shining through. Who knows maybe there will be rainbows too. This is not my first holiday hurricane, I have been through worse.
Getting prepared for the storm.
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Holidays have been difficult since the loss of my son. Mom is in a home 800 miles away with dementia. I came to Florida for recovery from from alcohol and drug addiction 8 years ago and never went back to N.C. I'm usually a positive person and I am a very strong woman. Just a little depressed today.