I feel the presence of a hurricane. It's coming fast. I know that this too shall pass. There will be no weather forecast on TV. You see the storm is brewing inside of me.
Tears that fall heavy like the pouring rain. Like a tornado twist inside of my brain. Racing thoughts that come and then go. Like the storm winds that calm.
I miss my mom the way that she use to be. I miss my son being here with me. My daughter is far away. She is a Jehovah's witness, she does not celebrate holidays. My father is in a world of his own. A younger brother and sister who do not speak to each other.
I look around the world and I see people just like me feeling the same way. Not looking forward to the holidays. People are dying, people are crying and killing each other.
I miss my wife even though she is here. There will be no hugs or kisses or holiday cheer. She wants a separation, she calls a vacation.
Like branches breaking on the trees, my heart breaks too. I will be happy to see when the holidays are through.
I know this will pass. Hurricanes never last. The sun comes shining through. Who knows maybe there will be rainbows too. This is not my first holiday hurricane, I have been through worse.
Getting prepared for the storm.
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Holidays have been difficult since the loss of my son. Mom is in a home 800 miles away with dementia. I came to Florida for recovery from from alcohol and drug addiction 8 years ago and never went back to N.C. I'm usually a positive person and I am a very strong woman. Just a little depressed today.