Trying to cry, but I can't find the tears,
Fighting this dark that's consumed me for years.
A sliver of light drags me deeper back down,
When I breath my lungs are weighed,
And I'm scared I might drown.
My blinds all stay shut to stray me from hope,
The light from their cracks my heart tried to grope.
I turn my head to stop the pain,
But my head keeps on turning it's wheels in my brain -
"Maybe it'll get brighter if you just go out,"
So I head towards the door, despite all my doubt.
I turn the knob and my heart starts to rise -
But just as I step out, rain fills the skies.
"Stupid stupid stupid!" my brain yells at my heart,
"you led me to hope but I only fell apart."
I deserve to be in darkness, to drown in my pain.
It saves me from disappointment, all alone there's no hope to gain.
So back to my room I went, all defeated and heavy,
Back to the corner where my feelings stay steady.
That sliver of light that had shone through my blinds,
Has disappeared now, leaving me in darkness, confined.
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This Poems Story
Depression hit's hard sometimes. And right when you think you're going to be okay, something or someone makes you happy, makes you hopeful that something good is going to happen - it sucks you back into the whirling vortex of loneliness and self-hatred.