How Does It Feel?

When I first told you I loved you,
I didn't mean it in the way you heard it,
And it wasn't my first time.
It was perfected bravery.

When I first told you I loved you,
It was a question within my mind,
It was a constant dream within a dream,
It was a tortured thought reflected in my eyes,
It was a lie within my smile, my gait,
Coursing through my fingertips,
Electrified fluttering released.
I could not say it or shout it or write it out of fear.
But you would never know,
When I first told you I loved you.

I whispered it softly, as you were drunkenly wrapped in my sheets.
I let the sweet words melt into the space between us.
The dark masked the glow
in my cheeks, shielded the tears in my eyes
And you would never know
how safe it felt to hear I love you too.

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