how to get over the person you were in love with


someone asked me a question: how do you get over the person you were in love with?
simply put- you forget.
you forget all of the memories you have together- all of the midnight drives, singing stupid songs in the car as loud as you can without the judgment of the other no matter how bad you sound, picnics at the river, the first time they said "I love you". all of the time you spent together is in the past. it doesn't matter anymore.
you forget the feelings they gave you- the way they made you feel like a ten-year-old with a crush, all of the butterflies in your stomach the instant they walked into the room. you forget the feeling of when they kissed you; your feet left the ground and you never wanted to go back down. because that would mean his lips left yours, and what a lonely concept that is.
but, mostly, you forget them, every little detail about them. you forget the way that that the color brown makes you feel now that you saw their eyes, the way that every time they looked at you, they lit up and you got to see that perfect shade again and again, even though some see it as so vague. you forget the way his right eyebrow raises just a little bit when you say something absolutely ridiculous. you forget the way that little freckle on their nose disappears every time they laugh with that contagious, bright smile. you forget the way he smells like cinnamon and trees on a Sunday morning. you forget the way he tastes like bubblegum and vodka on just the right night, otherwise like cherry chapstick, because that's the one you bought them and it's their favorite. you forget every single moment that clouds your head when his fingers intertwine with yours. Because reminiscing in those moments means thinking about them. and if you think about them, you'll never get over them.
But, then I ask myself something: how could you possibly forget the person who was attached to you for such a long time? how do you even begin to start a life without them, when your plan was to have them by your side forever? how do you forget the person who finally made you feel like your worth something, who made you feel like it's okay to smile, and it's okay to be alive and live without a purpose? how do you forget the person who used to be one of the only things on this entire planet that made you happy?
and, so, i revise my answer.
if someone were to ask me that question again, I would tell them that you don't.
you don't move on from or forget the person you were in love with. that person will forever have a place in your heart, whether it's full with their presence or just a hole of void because they left you. you suck it up, and you try to distract yourself from the bitter thought of them. you go on with your day, even when something comes along that reminds you of him. because that's all you can do until you find someone to fill their spot, who can make you just as content with life as they did.
and i would to tell them this: even though you may never get over the person you were in love with, something that is so much more satisfying than him is yourself. learn to love yourself, and you'll be okay.

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