How To Pet A Cat

Brace yourself- this could get ugly.
Spot the target, for best results wait until it is lying down.
Cautiously approach the target.
If the target notices you- retreat and begin again.
Once adjacent with the target, gently extend one hand.
If the target is awake, let it sniff you before proceeding.
If bitten, abort the mission.
Cautiously move hand towards the top of its head.
Slowly lower hand in between its ears.
Gently stroke a few times.
If the target attempts to attack, retreat.
Otherwise proceed.
Continue to stroke head.
If purring occurs, lower hand to back and proceed with caution.
Whatever you do, do not move hand to stomach,
Pain will most likely occur.
Repeat process as needed.

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