Hurt by my own expectations

Some days are good,
Some days I don't want to eat food.
Some days I feel alone,
Maybe because I am really alone.
My doctor gave me pills,
And my dad's paying all my bills .
My disorder hits me harder,
And I am becoming less smarter.
I try to join the puzzle,
But the more I try the more it gets jumbled.
The scares in my hand ,
Reminds me of the war didn't end.
My mind wants to die,
But my body wants to fight

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