I Am


I am a rape victim;
There's nothing that can change that.
There's no number of showers I can take,
Or beer bottles I can break,
Pills I can pop or concoctions I can make to change that.
I am a rape victim;
I now have to constantly engage
In that intimate conversation
Explaining why I am the way I am In order to form a relationship.
I am a rape victim;
I am seen as fragile and sensitive, and the part that pisses me off
Is that I am.
I can't fix that by having initiative.
I am a rape victim;
All I want is to "move on" and forget the day
Like it was a bad mistake to learn from,
And to go on about my life without taking it
"Day by day."
I have to let my emotions run their course and take time to mourn,
But all I am is numb and angry and full of scorn.
My life is hindered by something I did not choose,
But by something someone did to me.
I have to carry this weight and heavy baggage on my own until
This earth I leave.
I am a rape victim;
There's nothing that can change that.

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