I Am!

It was decided without my consent. Before I even started.
My fate sealed in cement. Of all that's happened.
To me my greatest regret. Everyone I loved had to witness my decent.
Over and over the voice screamed. Between my own ears.
I am,
A looser. No longer have I anything to give.
I am,
Worthless. No longer can I find a good reason to live.
Everyday starts with that voice in my head. But not to worry.
Just a few sips of that magic elixir. Will put them to bed.
I will just have to keep this up until the day finally comes that.
I am,
Dead. But instead.
The day came the elixir. No longer quieted the voices in my head.
In the blackness of night. Left only with the feeling of dread.
A fate to me.Much worse than death.
I am,
In great despair. I called out to the one I'd left so far behind.
God please help me.
Was the only prayer I could come up with at that time.
I must escape the hell I've created in my mind. Suddenly a peace.
A place I'd never been. Death was beginning to descend.
Maybe this was it.
I am,
Finally at my end. Sleep fell over me.
The best I'd had sense before it began.
When I awoke my first thought.
Was it just simply an honest prayer. Needed for me to transcend.
Now the voice in my head. Very quietly and simply said.
I am!

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